One mad weekend a rather infamous gee up king couldn't get a lift to a beer festival at Emu Park (near Yeppoon in Central Queensland). A group of blokes had stolen one of the boys' car to get there but our subject, drunk and disorderly, missed the ride.

He was later spotted walking to Emu Park (about 15kms) with a crudely written cardboard sign which simply said, "I need a beer and a shit. Emu Park Beer Festival."

He did end up getting a lift but arrived just as we were all leaving. He later shagged a disabled girl (with her consent) in someone's front yard in Yeppoon. Funny shit.

Rating: 8/10

One night in Biloela, a few likely lads were running amok through the streets and wreaked havoc. First they attacked the local KFC outlet, jumping over the counter and handing out drinks, potato and gravy and salads to everyone before legging it before the cops turned up. They then ran into a local girl one of them knew and she invited everyone back to her place for a party.

BIG mistake.

She showed them into the rumpus room and said, "Now you can drink the beer out of the fridge but please don't touch my dad's spirits behind the bar." Well that was like a red rag to a bull and no sooner had she left the room than everyone was skolling her old man's spirits like there was no tomorrow. She returned a short time later and went off her nut and told everyone to leave or she would call the cops (the second time that night someone had called the cops on these wankers).

Everyone made it outside except for one. No-one knew where he was so one of the boys went back inside to look for him. A noise from the chick's bedroom was investigated and there, in all his glory, was an upstanding young gentleman shitting in the chick's undies drawer.

It was truly unforgettable.

Rating: 10/10

One night in good old Rockhampton, the middle brother of a truly sick trio of bastards, was dancing with a chick on the dance floor and he looked to be making some headway. Just when it looked like the big guy was going to score as he gyrated against this young lass, he casually undid his belt, dropped his jeans to his knees and started dry humping her with his, now fully exposed, erect penis right in front of everyone.

This chick was blissfully unaware as everyone else pissed themselves laughing. She only realised when he grabbed her hand and put it on the offending member. Then he looked over and gave a cheeky grin as she planted a great slap across his face. He couldn't have given a shit.

Truly memorable.

Rating: 9/10